The problem is that this is our current kitchen…and this is what we want.

Sometimes people ask, “How do you do it? How do you stay married while living in the house during the restoration?”

Well, sometimes we do it better than others. I’ve read interviews featuring other couples who have traveled down this road and when they say how they had no problems and this experience has brought them closer together in their marriage, I think who are they kidding?

Living without a fully functional kitchen for over a year like we have tends to make meal times difficult and we end up eating out more than we should.

The worst thing we face is what we term the “bathroom situation”. We have no shower. The upstairs main bath has been stripped down except for a bath tub. I feel sorry for David when I see him rinsing his hair by pouring water over his head from a cup. We have a working toilet and sink in a closet-sized half bath downstairs on the back porch, not very convenient in the middle of the night.

Plus, just the problems of an older house – bad electric, bad roof, furnace problems, mix in two busy careers equals one frazzled couple.

I will admit living with the state of our kitchen and bath has gotten easier as time goes on, a year and 3 months to be exact. It was a huge adjustment at first but now it seems almost normal. We don’t even notice it any more except on the rare occasions we get away and realize how much quicker and easier it is to take a shower, brush your teeth and style your hair all in the same room. You don’t realize how complicated a simple act like getting ready to go out for an evening really is when your bathroom is torn apart because it begins to seem normal.

We have no experience with restoration and are figuring things out as time and money allow. This leads to conflicts because, in truth, neither of us really knows what we are doing. Our approaches to projects are usually polar opposites and as different as our upbringings.

David’s father, who researched and developed different medical drugs in a lab, has more than a healthy respect for germs, almost verging on a germ phobia. I grew up on a farm, a germ’s paradise. We didn’t bother with shoes in the summer, spent lots of time climbing through years of dirt (or worse) in old barn rafters and hay lofts, playing with lots of different animals, hopefully taking a dip in the swimming pool to clean up, and if I was lucky remembering to wash my hands before eating. When you grow up on a farm you are going to get dirty. I don’t remember safety or germs being a big focus or even a focus in my house.

For Christmas David received a first aid kit from his father. My dad gave me a pry bar, a built-in saw wrench and bottle opener (I guess that comes in handy when the state of your house drives you to drink) and a rechargeable saw, drill and flashlight kit. We’ve used both the first aid kit and the tools, not necessarily in that order.

David: Wait, what are you doing with that sledgehammer?

Heather: I’m going to whack out the cement covering the front porch.

D: Wait. You don’t know what’s under there.

H: Yes, I do. I crawled under the front porch and I think the original wood floor is still intact.

D: You crawled under the front porch?

H: Yeah. I just took off some of those asbestos shingles and crawled under there.

D: Asbestos! Did you wear your respirator?

H: It’s fine.

D: It’s not fine. Wait, I think we need to make a plan.

H: I have a plan. I’m going to whack the cement floor with a sledgehammer, spray water from the garden hose on high power in the cracks to loosen up the cement and then pry up the cement with a crowbar.

D: A garden hose! What?

H: (Frustrated sigh…and a rolling of the eyes for good measure) It’s fine.

D: Put on some safety glasses! Wait, YOU ARE NOT EVEN WEARING SHOES!

These are the days of our lives…The only real piece of advice I can offer is this (the secret of our so-called success):

1) Put one person in charge of a project and let them do it in their own way without offering “help” or suggestions.

2) When you need the other person’s help with a project, let them approach it in their own way.

An example of this, again, has to do with our front porch floor. After days of backbreaking work removing cement that was 4 inches thick, rusty old chicken wire, nails, staples, and each of us getting tentus shots, we discovered linoleum glued to the top of the original wood floor. I can’t explain how upsetting this discovery was after all the work we’d done to get down to the original porch floor.

David was in charge of removing the linoleum. He tried pry bars, scrapers, heating the linoleum with the Silent Paint Remover and none of these options worked very well. After the 3rd night of working on this until 2 in the morning, I suggested that maybe we should just replace the wood floor or put down a sea grass rug but was met with, “Are you kidding! After all this I’m getting that damn linoleum up.” Man verses the linoleum. Man losing. Man finally allows his wife to help him.

D: What are you doing with that steak knife?

H: The blade is thin enough that I can get it underneath the linoleum to pry it up.

D: How did you even think of that? What leads you to think, “Gee, I think a steak knife will do the trick?”

H: It’s working!

D: We use that to eat with. I don’t want you to use it on the floor!

H: We’re not eating with it now…I just broke the blade. I’m going to go get another knife. I never really liked these knives anyway.

D: Okay, you’ve just broken the blades of 3 steak knives. How are we supposed to eat?

H: It’s fine! My technique is working. Do you want this linoleum up or not?

D: Some technique…grumble, grumble

H: What did you just say? You’re just upset that my way is working.

Finally…
3) Praise all the work your partner does even if you are less than thrilled with the outcome.

David’s experience:
On Thursday of last week, the crew for the new DIY network show, “Restoration Realities” rolled into our house at 9am bringing cases of cameras, lighting equipment, audio equipment and power tools.

Our garage was transformed into a mini workshop, the back porch became the equipment staging area and our kitchen became the craft-service/break area. People whirled about setting up lights and cameras while the hosts planned out the projects and constructed the pieces needed.

We never knew how much work went into producing a show like this. Not only did they have to get the shots for the show, but off camera, they also had to do construction work. It was non-stop action that lasted till 11pm the first day, where at that point Heather and I were left with “homework” to complete for the next day.

Our job was to stain our newly constructed screen door. We stayed up till 1am completing the job and fell into bed knowing that at 7am it would all start again.

The second day proved to be even more hectic with the pressure to finish both projects (weather stripping the windows, the door and installing the new screen door) plus get all the rest of the shots done for the show.

In the end, it all came together. Although we did not get the security door we wanted, we did end up with a beautiful screen door that fits the period of the house, plus weather stripping. Everyone on the crew was really nice and we had some good times. We can’t wait to see the show!

Our metal security door. The bolts had to be cut off with saws.

Heather’s experience:
When I was a child, I was once in a television commercial for the Carson Perrie Scott department store based out of Chicago. The tv spot was an ad for Father’s Day. The fact that the father in the commercial had red hair and that my Mom was the Art Director made me a shoe-in for the part.

I don’t remember much about the experience except for the fact that the ad ran right after the television show “Gunsmoke.” What 7 year old, growing up in a small town in Indiana, wouldn’t be thrilled to be ON TV right after “Gunsmoke”?

When I was a little older I was on the local public television station’s morning show along with my dad and uncle. We were there to talk about the practice of raising and farming ducks, something that my family knows a thing or two about since that’s what they do for a living. I’m sure that was one riveting episode!

Yet, this impressive background in television didn’t begin to prepare me for being on a home improvement show, albeit a restoration minded one. First of all there is a whole crew of people that descend on your home. There are people in charge of lighting, sound, the cameras, a director, several producers, a production assistant, a lighting assistant, a carpenter and the show’s host. Most of these people come with equipment, large boxes of it.

Then there are the lights. These large, hot lights that are on tripod frames and ceiling height. A lot of time is spent adjusting the lighting and getting the correct angles. But, oh, the first time I saw our house on the monitors used to show what is being filmed, I was taken in by how the lighting made all the colors come alive and appear more vibrant, richer. All the wood trim seemed to almost glow. I wish our house always looked that lovely.

Bungalows are comfortable houses but rarely spacious and they feel much smaller once filled with a film crew, their equipment and all the towering lights. For someone who tends to feel claustrophobic in small spaces and shy around groups of people that I don’t know well, it was a bit overwhelming.

Some of the crew setting up a shot on Day 1.

I discovered the best thing hands down was something called “craft services” which consisted of every type soda pop, Doritos, Pringle, M & M, Kit Kat bar, crackers, nuts, and coffee imaginable. Our kitchen was converted into the craft services area and we were greeted with fresh out of the oven cinnamon rolls for breakfast, warm chocolate chip cookies and milk for a snack, and our lunches and dinners were picked up from local fast food restaurants.

Restorations Realities shot three episodes in Los Angeles. Our house was the second location. We felt a little sad when all the treats and sodas were packed up and moved on to the third house. It was easy to get used to such a great spread and someone to take our food order at meal times.

Even though the show is for the Do It Yourself network our screen door was pre-built and shipped in pieces to Los Angeles due the tight two day shooting schedule. If all we had to do was build a door that would be have been entirely do-able within the two day shoot. But, that doesn’t take into account the whole process of filming, and it is a process.

There is an outline or rough script that they follow as far as what needs to be said and shown on camera. The first day someone would tell us where to stand, give us an idea of what they would like us to say and how they would like us to move. Things like you’ll start at Point A and walk to Point B, positioning your body in a certain way so that you aren’t turning your back to the camera.

Each “scene” would need to be filmed several times to make sure the correct shots were captured with one of two cameras used. The scene would need to be reshot if someone flubbed a line or the lighting wasn’t just right. Or maybe you didn’t have enough “energy” after you had done a scene a few times so they shot it again to get a better reaction.

A big problem we ran into was noise from the city. We experienced all types of disruptions from planes flying overhead, to obnoxious horns that toot to a tune, lawn mowers or people in the neighborhood stopping by to ask what we were filming. Each of these disruptions required that we stop filming a scene and then start the scene over again after the noise had cleared.

I was most surprised by how much time and work it took to set up the scenes. The cameras had to be set up for the shots and the scene correctly lit. It sometimes took up to an hour to set up a scene and do the run through of where we were to stand and what we were supposed to say.

David and I were split up into teams. I worked on weather stripping with Bill the show’s host, while David worked with Chris the carpenter on the show to put together the screen door. Everything went well except for when I accidentally sanded Bill’s thumb with a power sander. Fortunately, he wasn’t hurt and possibly even benefited from the high-powered manicure.

Weather stripping the front door on Day 2.

The first day I had a wonderful time. The crew was very nice and joked around a lot off camera. The mood of the day was light hearted and playful. The first time I saw our screen door I was thrilled to see that it was finely crafted out of thick fir wood and beautiful. The quality of the craftsmanship was very high.

But, the second day just didn’t seem to go as well. I was too keyed up to sleep much after our first day of filming so I was tired. There was also some tension between people on the show which kind-of made the second day less fun. Things felt rushed and there was a lot less time spent explaining to us what was going to happen or what was being done to our house.

The way a door is to be hung or a threshold installed probably didn’t seem like a big deal to people working on the show but to someone who has spent the last two years of her life painstakingly restoring her house, those seemingly minor details were HUGE details to me. It just didn’t seem like there was enough time to explain what was going to happen and that caused me to feel very anxious.

About half way through the second day I really had doubts about why we decided to do the show and truthfully, I wanted everyone and their equipment out of our house. It is difficult to really describe what it is like to have people that you don’t know very well in and out of your house, moving around in frantic activity to adjust huge lights and cameras while projects are being done to your house. Projects that you are a part of but more in a secondary role because the projects have been planned out and are mainly being carried out by someone else.

The homeowners agree to the overall project idea upfront but in our experience, they have little say so as to what shape that project takes or how it is carried out. It is a strange feeling to be relegated to the role of sidekick after being the driving force in the restoration of your home.

It wasn’t that I didn’t like the film crew because that couldn’t be further from the truth. They bent over backwards to be nice to us. They are wonderful people who I genuinely enjoyed meeting and getting to know.

Having all this activity in the house was such a drastic change from my quite days spent with the dogs working from home. I started feeling very overwhelmed by the experience and upset because I didn’t understand how the projects were going to progress and come together in the end. Most importantly, I didn’t know what we would be left with after the film crew packed up and moved on to the next house.

Halfway through Day 2. If you know me well you can tell by the look on my face I’m stressed out but trying to play it off. This is my “just smile” only half a day left to go look. David is having a great time and going with the flow!

It was at this tense, meltdown moment that I had to film my personal interview. This is where they film you individually and ask you questions about your house, your hobbies and other get to know you better type of questions. It didn’t go well. If you watch the show I will be the woman with no hobby.

You mean that people who have full time jobs and restore their houses full time also have time for hobbies? Huh, how does that work? Watching television and sleeping didn’t seem to qualify. David, on the other hand, apparently sky dives in his free time! They say the wife is always the last know.

This is from a man who won’t tackle any home improvement project unless he’s clad head to toe in a hazmat suit, yet he wants America to believe he is jumping out of airplanes on the weekends. The David that does home improvement projects on tv is a very adventurous guy. In addition to sky diving he also engages in rock climbing. He might think this is really funny until he gets sky diving lessons for his birthday. That’s right, my husband thought it was fun to make up his hobbies, recounted bitterly by the woman who has NO hobby.

After my meltdown moment which I tried to play off, it is never a good idea to completely freak out in front of people you barely just met who are there for the purpose of capturing your likeness, house and spouse on film, I pulled myself together. It was 9 p.m. or later by the time we wrapped up the final shots which made for a long day for everyone. The crew had arrived at 7 a.m.

Filming the final shots on Day 2.

After having a week to reflect on the experience of being on a home improvement television show, I feel overall doing the show was a lot of fun. There were some tense, not so fun moments or hours, but in the end we were left with a beautiful screen door that we both love and a front entrance that is weather proofed. The show left our house in a better state than it us in when they arrived, were super nice to us and our dogs, plus they fed us tasty treats. Really, what more could any homeowner ask for?

I’m not sure how the screen door is going to work out for us long term from a security standpoint? We have considered putting a double cylinder deadbolt on the screen door but couldn’t bring ourselves to put a hole in our new door. A deadbolt also kind-of takes away from the welcoming aspect of a screen door.

The television show is called “Restoration Realities” on the DIY network. This is a brand new show and the first episode airs around March 6th. We don’t know when the episode we are on will air, they said it might not be until 2006, but we’ll keep you posted!

Our front entrance with the new screen door.

See more pics of from filming the show.

Read about how we were selected to be on the show.

Simon and Lulu photographed through the new screen door. So far they have been pretty good about not scratching it. They spent most of the two days we filmed upstairs and out of the way. Although, they were not very happy to miss out on getting attention from complete strangers – one of their great thrills in life!

We have been told that the police have made 100’s of arrests in our area since June. As impressive as that sounds, you know what? The only number I care about is ZERO. Zero women standing on the corner selling themselves. Zero pimps parking on my street. Zero traffic from Johns. Zero used condoms in my yard. Zero girls getting beaten up. Zero children being robbed of their innocence. Zero attitude from my elected officials who somehow seem to think this is all an accepted part of living in South LA.

I have asked a pimp to please move his car because it was blocking my driveway. I have looked out my dining room window only to see a man getting oral sex in his car. I have stepped over used condoms to get into my vehicle and pulled condom wrappers out of my garden. I have been unable to sleep at night because ‘Johns’ keep driving around and around the block waiting for a prostitute to become available. I have seen women standing on the corner at 7am wearing long shirts or maybe very, very short dresses with no underwear while young children walk past them on the way to school. I have been awoken in the middle of the night by 2 pimps beating a 13-14 year old girl because she didn’t want to sell herself and “just wanted to go home!”

Now imagine this was happening outside of your house. Imagine the neighborhood children are your children. Imagine the elderly ladies who are afraid to go outside are your grandmothers. Imagine the 14 year old girl who is walking her dog and getting cruised by men looking to buy sex is your niece. Now imagine this wasn’t happening for one day or one week, but every day for over one year! How would you feel? What would you do?

Maybe your first thought is we need to move. Ask yourself who is going to buy a house with 4 prostitutes standing in front of it?

Maybe you think you would call the police, Vice, the police Watch Commander or Captain? When we first started calling the police they often wouldn’t show up even if we called multiple times. Prostitution is considered a low level crime, often referred to as a victimless crime, so if something more pressing like a murder or robbery is occurring the police do not respond.

Now that the police are more responsive, it still takes them about one hour to respond unless they already happen to be in the area. Vice has started conducting 1-2 stings a month in our neighborhood. Things are “improving” if you consider prostitution happening 3-4 nights a week instead of every night and 2 or 3 girls standing on the corner instead of 5 an improvement. The police are making an effort but it isn’t enough. They need the cooperation of the judges, lawmakers and City Attorney.

What about City Counsel? We had a community meeting with LAPD, Vice, City Attorney and representatives from Councilman Bernard Parks office about prostitution in June of this year. At that time it was recommended that the City trim trees and install brighter lighting or additional lighting. It is now September and the trees have not been trimmed. A representative of Bernard Parks confided that they haven’t trimmed the trees in our district in over 2 years. There is no additional lighting, although I was emailed a handy petition that I could get all my neighbors to sign stating that we would pay for the cost of the additional lights out of our own pockets each month! Keep in mind I live in one of the lowest personal income Districts in Los Angeles.

I am treated more as an annoyance than a person looking for leadership and help from my elected officials. The fact that Councilman Parks earns over 14k a month and does nothing about the street prostitution happening in our neighborhood makes me absolutely irate. Los Angeles City Council members are some of the highest paid in the country.

Why isn’t Parks working closely with LAPD and the City Attorney’s office to get tougher on pimps, Johns and prostitutes? Why isn’t he heading a Prostitution Task Force or think tank to come up with creative ideas to solve this problem? Why isn’t he doing ANYTHING except blocking the neighborhood twitter so he doesn’t have to be bothered with the problem?

Maybe you would think of getting more involved and trying to create a positive change? I contacted groups working to help women leave prostitution. One group wanted to come into the area one day a week with a Prostitution Diversion Program. The group is not moving forward at this time with their plan because they would have to get accredited by the City to work in our area, and jumping through the hoops required by the City is supposed to be a nightmare.

South Los Angeles has it’s own Prostitution Diversion Program run by the City Attorney’s office. This program is only available to first time offenders, which disqualifies the vast majority of women and men (our area also has male prostitutes) arrested for prostitution. Most prostitutes choose not to participate in the program because on average they spend only 1-2 days in jail, and are often released from jail in a matter of hours due to overcrowding.

The judges often sentence prostitutes to probation. When a woman can be serving six different probations at the same time for prostitution arrests, you have to wonder how did the system get this broken?

Why aren’t multiple offenders sentenced to a mandatory Prostitution Diversion Program or community service to be served in the community where they committed the crime? I would love for the pimps and Johns to come pick up the used condoms off my street instead of me. Who do you think cleans up the discarded, used condoms in front of our homes? The homeowners.

What is the answer? I have thought to myself a million times, “Can we please have a hooker-free night?”

One thing I know for sure, the chance of me sitting quietly by and turning a blind eye to what is happening? Absolutely zero.

Can you imagine calling this room the heart of your home? To my modern eyes the early 1900’s kitchen looks rather cold and uninviting, utilitarian, and with all those pipes and exposed brick, industrial.

It is interesting how the industrial look is a current kitchen trend with industrial lighting and stainless steel.

At this time, some kitchens were still located in basements. In many upper middle class and well-to-do families kitchens were the domain of servants. Kitchens of yesteryear were not the hub of family life the way our kitchens are today. Friends gathering around and chatting to the host while she (or, as in my house, he) prepared dinner would have been unimaginable.

“Modern” conveniences such as a water heater, gas range, and garbage incinerator were available, but it is still a few years before what we would recognize or relate to as a modern kitchen of the 1910’s-1920’s.

What do you think of the 1900’s kitchen? Anyone want to go back?

Again.
I start having flash backs of junior high school. Is my house not cute enough? Is it not part of the cool house crowd? Did some high class-big cash house come my contractor’s way?

I woke up early and set out all their tools in the hopes that they would come, that today would be the day the BIG Backporch Rebuilding Project would commence.

My contractor and his team said they were coming but they have said that before. Many times. A few days later I’ll get the phone call, “Heather, I’m so sorry. Yes, this job we’re working on is taking longer than we thought but we’ll be there Thursday or maybe Friday. Ok, see you then. Monday for sure…”

The phone call is an advancement in our relationship. In the past they would just not show up or call for days, or even weeks. So, when I do get that call I bite my tongue and try not to sound annoyed. If I stay calm at least they stay in touch. I’m not exactly sure how we advanced to the phone call stage of our relationship but I don’t want to somehow blow it and regress back to the earlier no show/no call.

I’m hoping that soon we can advance to the calling the night before they don’t show stage. They have to know they aren’t coming and it is just as easy to call the night before as it is two days after they were scheduled to be here, right?

I wouldn’t put up with this type of behavior in any other area of my life, not even in the desperately insecure period of junior high school. But, if this is what it takes to hang onto a good and affordable contractor in Los Angeles, I’m game. Nevermind that I’ve cancelled lunch plans because they were supposed to be here and I’ll have to reschedule the plumber one more time.

I bring the tools back inside and stack them in the corner of my living room where they sit and wait for another day.

This isn’t a how-to article. I don’t think there is any need for a step-by-step guide on how to blow your restoration budget, that is if you are organized enough to have created a budget. The first room we tackled was our dining room and we were cluesless about how much it would cost. Budget? What budget? Our philosophy was it costs what it costs. We have since become a little wiser, but just a little.

This time around we created a rough estimate of what we would spend restoring the living room and den. But, things like having the plaster completely fall off your walls in numerous places tends to blow any budget, er, rough estimate out of the water.

Fortunately, or unforetunately depending on your point of view, our budget is expandable. Kind-of like my waistline after eating at In-n-Out Burger too many times because everything in our kitchen, including the dishes sitting inside our cupboards, is covered with a fine white dust from when our new plaster walls were sanded, and sanded again, and yet again.

The death of our budget was a 1910 Arts & Crafts Chandelier made from hammered iron with a brass plated finish and caramel/white slag glass in excellent condition that glows a warm amber when lit. The fixture has very classic Arts & Crafts lines with a tapered body and upper “cut out” windows in the center shade, riveted construction, a hammered finish and a nice dark patina. The antique dealer’s website said, “Another great piece of early North American lighting that is becoming hard to find.”

I looked at the light once, I looked at the light the next day, I looked at the light every day for a week, I showed David the light, I spoke incessantly about the light and finally I emailed the antique dealer to see if he would come down on the price a little bit. He wouldn’t, but starting my email with, “My husband and I have fallen in love with a light fixture featured on your website,” probably wasn’t the best bargaining position. The dealer smelled blood and we caved, or splurged – that’s what we are calling it, our splurge – and we bought the light. “Our splurge” sounds so much nicer than we have lost our minds! But, hey, every restoration project deserves one splurge, right? Right?

Yesterday we got a male corgi puppy. We are calling him Simon. At first Lulu, our 4.5 years old slightly spoiled female corgi, seemed to accept Simon. They even briefly played together.

Lulu and Simon

Once she realized that he was staying she changed her mind. She is showing her teeth at Simon any time he comes near what she considers her territory – which is almost everything. Of course, the cats are less than thrilled and we are getting the cold shoulder.

What does that have to do with our den? Not a whole lot except that all the above is highly distracting. The woodwork in the den has been bleached, stained and varnished. Paint is on the walls. I picked the color on my first try this time! Real progress. The color is Great Barrington Green from the Benjamin Moore Historic Colors Collection.

The walls above the picture rail and the ceiling still need to be painted.